NightOffFix.com

• 9 min read

Man Pitching Daily Diatribes on Social Media Furious Others Are “Bitching”

* The Tirade: In an attempt to refocus attention on immigration, President Trump launched a vitriolic attack on Somali immigrants during…

Michael Smith • 04 Dec 2025

• 5 min read

US Institute of Peace Building Rebranded; Irony Placed on Endangered Species List

* The Rebranding: The State Department has officially renamed the US Institute of Peace (USIP) headquarters the "Donald J. Trump…

Michael Smith • 04 Dec 2025

• 11 min read

All A’s on Physical, All Z’s in Cabinet Meeting

SUMMARY (Host Voice): * The Nap: President Trump appeared to struggle with staying awake during a two-hour cabinet meeting, repeatedly closing…

Michael Smith • 03 Dec 2025

• 17 min read

Cars Will Now Run on Nostalgia

SECTION: PRE-COMEDY SUMMARY (REQUIRED OUTPUT 1) SUMMARY (Host Voice): * The Rollback: President Trump has officially weakened federal fuel efficiency standards,…

Michael Smith • 03 Dec 2025

• 14 min read

Man Referees Game He's Playing In, Wins Somehow

SUMMARY (Host Voice): * The Setup: David Sacks, a venture capitalist appointed as the Trump administration’s "AI and Crypto…

Michael Smith • 01 Dec 2025

• 13 min read

Ex-President's Prison Sentence Upgraded to "Actually Just a Gap Year" Under New Pardon

SUMMARY (Host Voice): * The News: Honduras held a tense presidential election on Sunday, heavily influenced by President Trump’s last-minute…

Michael Smith • 30 Nov 2025

• 11 min read

Northwestern Pays $75 Million Ransom to Rescue Its Own Wallet

Blake Trapper: Northwestern University has agreed to pay the U.S. Treasury $75 million to settle investigations by the Trump…

Michael Smith • 29 Nov 2025

• 7 min read

The New Fiscal Policy: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Relocate

Blake Trapper's Summary: * The Pivot: Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, formerly a critic of tariffs as "inflationary,"…

Michael Smith • 26 Nov 2025

• 9 min read

FBI Adds "Karaoke Security" to List of America's Critical Threats

💡Blake Trapper (Host): We have reached the "Rom-Com from Hell" phase of the administrative collapse. FBI Director Kash…

Michael Smith • 25 Nov 2025

• 7 min read

Judas Now Available for $49.99/Month, Still Cheaper Than His Original Rate

A New York Times opinion writer tested several "Jesus Bots"—AI-powered spiritual chatbots—that promise biblical guidance but mostly deliver generic self-help advice, often interrupting scripture to serve ads for Amazon and mobile games like "Royal Match."…

Michael Smith • 24 Nov 2025

• 12 min read

Congratulations, Your Student Loan Is Now a Small Business (That Is Failing)

* Department of Education Dismantling: The Trump administration has accelerated efforts to dismantle the Department of Education, slashing staff and transferring…

Michael Smith • 21 Nov 2025

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